Read our posts about self

Don't Judge Me For Not Getting Drunk With Work Mates

Don't Judge Me For Not Getting Drunk With Work Mates

I realised that binge drinking wasn’t for me during my Fresher’s Week at university. This is the infamous time in every young adult’s life which consists of masochistically getting bladdered repeatedly, in the hope of forming some lasting bonds of friendship with a group of petrified fellow students. All so that we could LOL about our collective hangovers and embarrassing hook-ups of the morning after the night before. Of course the natural antidote to our terror about being alone was to glug as much poison as humanly possible. Away from home, and far from the...
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How to Manage Your Online Presence

How to Manage Your Online Presence

Your professional reputation matters. What you say about yourself online, what others say about you, the comments you make, the opinions you express - all these can influence whether or not colleagues trust and respect you, give you business, a promotion, or a job. It’s vital to take control of your online presence and make sure that the spaces you inhabit, and what you do and say in those spaces, fits with the image you want to project. And here’s the key - consciously thinking about how you want to appear to your professional peers. Do you want them to see you as...
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The Toxic Legacy of Jimmy Savile

The Toxic Legacy of Jimmy Savile

It’s more than a year and a half since the first shockwaves of the Jimmy Savile sex abuse story hit, and I find it harder than ever to listen to the seemingly endless avalanche of disturbing voices testifying to the horrors he inflicted while the world looked the other way. I can’t say exactly how I came to ‘know it’, but the news story when it broke in the autumn of 2012 only served to confirm what I already knew in my guts; that Savile was a predatory abuser. Interestingly a lot of people I’ve discussed this with have also said the same thing.  We all somehow knew...
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Getting to Know Your Genitals

Getting to Know Your Genitals

As a psychosexual therapist I often deliver sexuality and sexual education workshops to the wider public, and I have delivered many training days to male, female and mixed gender groups.  The groups consist of people of all ages - ranging from as young as 16, to over 70 years old – which gives me insight into a wide array of thoughts and viewpoints. One of the topics which surfaces frequently, is the different relationship men and women have with their genitals.  Of course, there is a big difference between the sexes ... in males, genitals are external and boys from...
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Want to Know Yourself? Take Our Test

Want to Know Yourself? Take Our Test

“If I knew myself, I’d run away,” said Goethe, who, incidentally, was Freud’s favourite writer. You might imagine that knowing yourself would be one of the key goals of psychology.  Often it has not been, however. When I was young one of the most distinguished experimental psychologists of his generation Donald Broadbent told me students should realise it was an illusion that psychology would teach them to know themselves better. Perhaps that’s why a paper on Experiential Self Monitoring which I reported in 1980 made such an impression on me. It was given by E J...
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Four Thoughts on Anxiety About Ageing

Four Thoughts on Anxiety About Ageing

1. Why are some older people described as 'still beautiful', as though age mostly erases beauty? Banish the words from your vocabulary, along with other self-deprecating remarks about ageing bodies, and admiring comments about people who don't look their age. Train your eyes to recognise and your language to include 'old and beautiful'. 2. We read so often about frail old people yet resilient, engaged, vital and outraged ones surround us. If they're not in your family seek them out as your friends, especially if you're young: it will help dispel the...
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Understanding the Psychology of Your Home

Understanding the Psychology of Your Home

Homes are more than places to live in. They might keep the rain off our heads but they also house a whole host of other issues, things that resonate with us on a deep and symbolic level, a kind of physical manifestation of all our hopes and fears. That’s why when architects are commissioned to design someone’s home, they are also hired to perform a range of way more occult services. You’re there as much to interpret a client’s dreams, intuit their desires, divine their relationships, personalities and attempt to materialise these things into the very fabric of their...
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